hopes up

I hate getting my hopes up just to have them squaRshed like a crippled spider under the foot of a fat furry squirell with his mouth full of plastic nuts. 

I was already trying to decide where I would put funiture, how I would fix little problems... All the stuff I promised I wouldn't think about until I knew I had an offer accepted on a home.  But the more I look into the fact that the selling agent doesn't know where to send my offer, the more I realize the house may not be up for purchase.  The bank that owns it doesn't even have it listed in thier computers for sale... At least that is what my mom told me she found out. 

I don't wanna be negative about it, because what if I'm wrong?  What if I pull out on the offer, and it is really just a communication error, and the house could have been mine? 

I don't think materialistic things matter much to God.  People praying to win the lotto, praying for the new car or the raise at thier job.  Everything I've read says that money is evil, and to base your world around it will cause you nothing but misery and reward nothing toward the soul.  I'd like to think a home is different because I require a roof for my family, and some kind of structure to live in.  Now a days that requires a house. 

Bah!
God takes care of his sparrows, so I'm just going to try and sleep and not think about it.  Either way I have a good home now, and if I have to wait it may be for the best.  I am thankful for all I have and I shouldn't let myself forget that.  Now if I can just get that squirell to stop picking at the fake acorns on my christmas decorations, maybe that spider could get out of the damn way.