BPD

I've started to write a post about BPD a couple of times, but I just couldn't get the words to say what I wanted them too.

A stranger today gave me 4 tires he had at his house, simply because he overheard I couldn't buy one at the tire shop. It really made me feel like maybe mankind hasn't totally corrupted itself. So here's my attempt at giving something back, all-be-it an egotistical go at it.

For normal people, seeing a person with suicide like scars, is a scary and confusing thing. They are human, and I've found that the people that ask about the scars, are not being cruel, but curious, and honest about it. It has been over three years since I have injured, and I have no desire to do it ever again.

People like to ask, "why did you do it?" or "why?" and it's always hard to come up with an answer. For those that have never experienced addiction or mental breakdown, it can be really hard to understand. Here's how I'd like to explain it, I think it's an individual experience, but I'd think this is a common link.

Imagine if you will questioning on a daily basis your very existence, your right to breath, your ability to affect the world around you, or even the ownership of your own body.
Now imagine that in the midst of all that emotional chaos, and questioning, something falls and cuts open your finger, there is pain, there is blood, and now something else is in place of that turmoil. Like being pinched in a dream, or pinching yourself to make sure your not dreaming, control can be placed in your hands simply by causing an injury, pinch, cut or burn, whatever.

If it was the only way to relieve what was going on inside, would you do it? If nothing in the world seemed real or controllable but the contents of your skin, would you? How about when there is a charlie-horse, or a cramped toe, do you pull and poke and prod it to make it go away?

I guess the other thing I'm trying to convey is that it can, and will go away if you find a way to no longer need it. And for those who think this disorder is some way of getting attention....

If your dearest loved one was killing themselves slowly with poison, would you get them help, or ignore it because you don't understand it? Would you tell them to stop screaming for attention, or would you get them the help they desperately need?

Eh, I can't think of anything else to say on that subject at the moment. But I'm sure there is lots to say.

It gets better with work, It is an illness that needs to be treated, and human's are humans:Beautifully flawed, and blissfully ignorant

I wonder if I'll ever see the world again , the way my son see's it. I mean, I know it is quite impossible, knowledge corrupts the world around you from the day you find out the color of the grass is just from a chemical called chlorophyll. I guess that's why it would be so nice to explore new places, new lands, or continents. To get that feeling once more that the planet still has mystery to see, and to simply point at and say "pretty".

RED MAN

I already know the answer to this, but I'm just curious what others would say.

How is it in any way a christian tradition to set a mythical, magical fat man in a red suit at the head of the table for children to worship, on the day of Christ's birth?

I don't think I can understand how people can think that this magical being that they trick their kids with is in any way o.k. with God.

I've met so many atheists or half-believers, and do you know what they all had in common? The man in the red suit. Their parents presented them with this almighty magical being, made them believe it, even pretended to believe it themselves, and then, it was all a lie. Those same parents try to tell those same children God is real, with even less proof then they gave them that Santa was real.....

How is it possible that we have generations of atheists and brats with entitlement issues?.... It's all Santa Clause's fault.

FEED

I'll have to write it later, I don't have enough time.

Invisible alien pops into 'john smith's' life, tells john the aliens are going to come collect thier harvest soon.

John and alien talk about it, Aliens are really growing us for food here, and our genetic code isn't ripe until it's been thouroughly diversified. Most conusuers want the brain, and there has to be a certain amount of intelligence otherwise the brains can be sour or poisonous.

Alien wants to help John, make him a pet, and his whole litter if need be so that he doesn't get harvested.

hidden reason Alien wants to help John is because he's like the Alien version of PETA, and Animal Rights Activist.

Alien shows him his home, where Johns room will be, tells him how well he'll live, John wants to tell everyone and save them, but alien goes Invisible any time someone looks, Alien decides he's gonna have to kidnap a human for plan to work.

Blah blah blah, plot plot plot.,

Alien see's how we treat our animal species, see's how the two sides fight, See's a list of how many species we've wiped out, War and love, all that crap. He leaves with a puppy instead, and tells his animal rights group that the humans didn't want help.

Richard Tobey

The Book of Ascension

This book was hidden in the four Gospels Matthew, Mark, Luke and John
for God knew that early church would be tricked out of the most important book of all. The book of the forty days that Christ walked and taught the power that was made available after the resurrection.

For if the prince of this world had known, He would not have crucified the Lord of Glory.

Referring to the power that would be given to the people that believed on and in his name Jesus the Christ.

John 16:25 These things have I spoken onto you in proverbs:
But the time cometh, when I shall no more speak unto you in proverbs,
But I shall show you plainly of the father

John chapters 14,15,16, and 17 were spoken by the resurrected Jesus Christ;
Hidden from man until God deemed man ready again for the power that was
promised of the Father to be endued with the power from on high

John 16:32 belongs and starting at John 13:36

John 13:36 Behold, the hour cometh yea is now come, that ye shall be scattered every man to his own, and shall leave me alone and yet I am Not alone, because
the father is with me
John 13:37 Simon Peter said unto him, Lord wither goest thou?
Jesus answered him, whither I go thou canst not follow me now; but thou shalt follow me afterward.
John 13:38 Peter said unto him, Lord, why cannot I follow you now?
I will lay down my life for thy sake
John 13:39 Jesus answered him, will thou lay down thy life for my sake? verily verily I say unto thee the cock shall not crow till thou hast denied me thrice

Note: John 14:30 and 14:31 should be 13:40 and 13:41

John 13:40 Hereafter I will not talk much with you:for the prince of this world cometh and hath nothing in me.
John 13:41 But that the world may know that I love the father; and as the Father gave me commandments even so I do. Arise let us go hence

Note: John 18:1 would be next removing chapters 14,15,16,17

John 18:1 when Jesus had spoken these words, he went forth with his disciples over the brock cedron, were was a garden, into the which he entered and his disciples.

Note: Matthew, Mark, Luke will confirm this. Old King James version.

Note Matthew, Mark, Luke
Read for your self the end of the last supper until going into the garden. This will confirm that which I have written.
(Old King James Version)
Richard A. Tobey 11-22-09

NEWTON'S LAW

Real quick, I think my super hero is going to have the power to change his mass at will, and therefor be able to affect his own gravitational force. Kinda like being able to be telepathic, but not using his mind, using his pure body mass.

Guy at work told me that two objects falling, they'll reach the ground at the same time. I was so utterly convinced he was wrong.... Bah!!
I understand that the theory is that the two objects are acted upon by gravity in the same way regardless of their mass, but if a mass has gravity, no matter how tiny, and the earth has gravity.... How can it be that the forces acting between them , (gravity attraction) doesn't have any affect on free fall? Despite how insignificant the difference in the 3000lb object's own gravity may be in the fall to the 1 ounce object, seems to me it should still count for something. Even if they just recognize that there is a value to it in the "falling objects" laws.

Crap gotta go to work and admit I was wrong.

HOPE

I seem to have great ideas, then fall asleep, and forget I ever had them. Tonight I will not let it fade away into another mundane day.

He looked into the tree lined web of orange night sky. If he was ordinary, if he was not extraordinary, then the passion, the fear, the anxiety, the sadness, the utter loss of all he was, the shear joy in knowing life, it too was not unique. It too was commonplace.
The very thought tore at his fiber. It tore into the thing that made him human as much as a surgeon's tools could pry open the very ribcage that held the life within his mortal skin.
As the idea ripped apart what this man was, something grew in it's place. Glowing embers sparked of good, righteousness. Smoldering from them were the evils, encrouching on the light. They mingled inside overwelming the thing that was man, and spilled about the fiberous being standing naked in the moons warming glow.
If he could not be more then just human. If he could not believe that what made him who he was could be an infinite singularity, then he could not exist any longer.
The ember's burst into a magnetic heat, drawing in his blood, his mind, every second lived from his first breath fed the fire.
He was tearing apart and rebuilding whatever it was that life had made him. The tree's swayed violently. They only new death when all providence of survival dispersed. They thrived until there was nothing left to sustain them, and this man wanted to drain from the very earth beneath him what those trees drank. He wanted to shed all mortal being, and have for even one moment the belief that it never had to end.
He could not journey what road lay ahead without knowing it meant something. The moonlight darkened the branches into outstretching wraiths. The stems and arms seemed to want to pull him from the ground in which he stood and crush him into the night sky above.
The man, ordinary, plain, not unique in anyway, had existed and wether or not history or mankind would ever record it, he would not let the crackling fire inside die from the suffocation smog that tryed to overwelm it.
A cloud moved, a perpetuous cycle in the humid sky shifted. Blue and gold flooded the ground about him and drove away the shadowy arms clawing at his feet. The smoke inside was replaced with the rich air in every breath he drew, and with each new breath the flames grew stronger.
He would not allow all the suffering, the loss, the passion, or even the ordinary memories of first season's day be lost by his own doubt. He was more then just a man. He was one man, who now knew what could be lost and gained, and grown from a shredded heart, a shredded mind, or even a body.
What wisdom does the great elm have, that he could not make a bed from? He closed his eyes only hoping that he would not wake and forget what it was that made him want to thrive. He dreaded that it was all a dream soon forgotten when awoke by the alarm clock. But most of all, he did not want to lose hope ever again, because so much greater is the loss of it, then any sustanance that kept him alive.
The trees sang in the wind, moaning a soft love song to the sky, and a great gospel to the ground.