My ex-fiance used to tell me, "I love you so much, I'd suck the buggers out of your nose!"
I never knew what he meant until I had my son. Cause I literally had to suck buggers out of his nose when he was a baby, and it was a monumental task on my part. Gagging and twitching as I had to get that squigggy thingy in there and suck.... Just thinking about it gives me the creeps.
Well, now seeing as he's an ex, and current relationships are going to pot, I've realized the only people you can really love that much are your children. People who don't have kids will argue, and be like, 'No! I love my partner that much!'
But really, they don't know. Without having a child, there is no point of reference, although I've heard that significant others can be just like having a child. They are adults, and in the end, you are not ultimately responsible for who they turn out to be, how the grow, how they become the person they become. They already are.
So I'm starting to waver onto the side of science. Love is a chemical reaction. The brains way of keeping the species motivated to keep going. But as any kid with half-way decent parents can tell you, parent's never loose that love. It may go through a change when the child gets to be an adult. Which I believe is mainly a change because the kid is now responsible for themselves, and the love changes, but is just as strong.
So in that aspect, there is no reason for the chemical reaction to stick around, but for nature perpetuation down the generation. Cause if the kids don't procreate, then the purpose of having your genes continue through children kind of stops at them.
So yeah, even if my kid grows up to be a jerk, which I'm hoping I'm doing everything I can to keep that from happening, I will still jump in front of a rabid bear to protect him. Or... suck buggers out of his nose.... as long as his own hands don't work.
We love partners for the purpose of keeping ourselves, and the species going. Cause let's face it, if we are alone, our genetic purpose is still defeated.
Now there's adoption and all that, so I don't think it's entirely about nature. Having another life in our hands to mold, and care for. Having someone else that totally depends on us for growth, survival, and to make them a place in this fugged up crazy world is- in my opinion- just the same as if they carried the same DNA. If I adopted a child, it would be the same love. Which is the reason I say that when it comes to our kids, it's not all scientific genetic nature blah blah blah.
But the other people? The "OH I LOVE HIM! CAN'T LIVE WITHOUT HIM!" crap?
Yeah, just another way our brains make us do things that make no sense.
The little teenager inside us begging to get out and fall madly in love for no good reason. That's chemical. Back in the day people stayed married because that is what they thought they had to do, felt it was how things were supposed to be.
My grandma should have never had to put up with some of the crap she put up with, and now that she is gone and we've all started to see what she was dealing with.... Yet another reason for me to say... chemical.
And for all those non-christian folks, you'll have to forgive me for my bible talk. I've thought many times to myself... Could I give my son to the world to die? Could I let him suffer and pay for other peoples sins? Well, I certainly would try and stop it, but if he made the choice to do it. I wouldn't stop him. I would try and make it as painless and easy on him as I could. But honestly, I don't know that I could, which makes me respect the father, and his son for the love they had between them, and the love they had for us. "They" plural, not because of trinity, but because Jesus was his own person, a human being, the son of god, our brother, and that is why his sacrifice, his being here means as much as it did.
Any hoo. I don't think it's possible to have someone to love in my life that can not see how my son is more important then a chemical reaction. I don't know if this current relationship falls, if I will be able to do it again for a very long time. I wouldn't want to do it to my son again. It's bad enough trying to figure out how to explain him not having a dad around, without having someone getting attached and then leaving.
So there's my speel. There's my rant for the day. Relationships suck. Pain in the ass. And I am completely lost on how it's supposed to work.
I never knew what he meant until I had my son. Cause I literally had to suck buggers out of his nose when he was a baby, and it was a monumental task on my part. Gagging and twitching as I had to get that squigggy thingy in there and suck.... Just thinking about it gives me the creeps.
Well, now seeing as he's an ex, and current relationships are going to pot, I've realized the only people you can really love that much are your children. People who don't have kids will argue, and be like, 'No! I love my partner that much!'
But really, they don't know. Without having a child, there is no point of reference, although I've heard that significant others can be just like having a child. They are adults, and in the end, you are not ultimately responsible for who they turn out to be, how the grow, how they become the person they become. They already are.
So I'm starting to waver onto the side of science. Love is a chemical reaction. The brains way of keeping the species motivated to keep going. But as any kid with half-way decent parents can tell you, parent's never loose that love. It may go through a change when the child gets to be an adult. Which I believe is mainly a change because the kid is now responsible for themselves, and the love changes, but is just as strong.
So in that aspect, there is no reason for the chemical reaction to stick around, but for nature perpetuation down the generation. Cause if the kids don't procreate, then the purpose of having your genes continue through children kind of stops at them.
So yeah, even if my kid grows up to be a jerk, which I'm hoping I'm doing everything I can to keep that from happening, I will still jump in front of a rabid bear to protect him. Or... suck buggers out of his nose.... as long as his own hands don't work.
We love partners for the purpose of keeping ourselves, and the species going. Cause let's face it, if we are alone, our genetic purpose is still defeated.
Now there's adoption and all that, so I don't think it's entirely about nature. Having another life in our hands to mold, and care for. Having someone else that totally depends on us for growth, survival, and to make them a place in this fugged up crazy world is- in my opinion- just the same as if they carried the same DNA. If I adopted a child, it would be the same love. Which is the reason I say that when it comes to our kids, it's not all scientific genetic nature blah blah blah.
But the other people? The "OH I LOVE HIM! CAN'T LIVE WITHOUT HIM!" crap?
Yeah, just another way our brains make us do things that make no sense.
The little teenager inside us begging to get out and fall madly in love for no good reason. That's chemical. Back in the day people stayed married because that is what they thought they had to do, felt it was how things were supposed to be.
My grandma should have never had to put up with some of the crap she put up with, and now that she is gone and we've all started to see what she was dealing with.... Yet another reason for me to say... chemical.
And for all those non-christian folks, you'll have to forgive me for my bible talk. I've thought many times to myself... Could I give my son to the world to die? Could I let him suffer and pay for other peoples sins? Well, I certainly would try and stop it, but if he made the choice to do it. I wouldn't stop him. I would try and make it as painless and easy on him as I could. But honestly, I don't know that I could, which makes me respect the father, and his son for the love they had between them, and the love they had for us. "They" plural, not because of trinity, but because Jesus was his own person, a human being, the son of god, our brother, and that is why his sacrifice, his being here means as much as it did.
Any hoo. I don't think it's possible to have someone to love in my life that can not see how my son is more important then a chemical reaction. I don't know if this current relationship falls, if I will be able to do it again for a very long time. I wouldn't want to do it to my son again. It's bad enough trying to figure out how to explain him not having a dad around, without having someone getting attached and then leaving.
So there's my speel. There's my rant for the day. Relationships suck. Pain in the ass. And I am completely lost on how it's supposed to work.
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