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Wednesday, April 27, 2011

mean people

Lately I have been quite dumbfounded by mean people.  Although I have caught myself laughing at other peoples expense (initiated by a mean person), I always feel bad about it.  So what is it that makes these people tick? Why is it so important to bash someone else?  Or to criticize what they have no experience to comment on?  There are people who intentionally pick fights so that they can have physical battles, and those who pick emotional battles.  
I don't have an education that would back up any of my theories, but it seems to me that having been human and been a part of the species, that I could make fairly accurate guesses.

First assumption:  Either they're laughing because bully humor makes them nervous, or they are laughing because they think it's genuinely funny that another human being could be so humiliated and degraded at the same time. Or, yet another option, the absurdity of it is just to sadistic to resist.  Like Wiley coyote falling over the cliff and then getting smushed by a bolder and the mountain it fell from. 

Second assumption: People are cruel because it eases their own suffering by giving them someone to target all their anger onto-- Or... they are the kind that gets pleasure from the power they feel by making another being feel terrible.   Notice how bully's and assholes never pick on someone who refuses to give them any reaction or sufficient award for their behavior.  

Third assumption:  Not all mean people are bad people.  Some of them actually deserve pity.  If all they can get pleasure and happiness from is being cruel... can you imagine the loneliness and suffering there is being completely alone?   Some of them were never taught or learned how being kind to others can be just as rewarding.  Or they were taught that kindness leads to terrible consequences... all that psychobabble crap.

Fourth assumption: Mean people are not intelligent enough to figure out a different way to communicate effectively they don't like you in a polite way.  

Fifth assumption:  There is no honor, respect or joy in being mean.  So they must have low self esteem to demean themselves in that way.

Sixth assumption:  If these types have any desire to change, or do things differently they must first admit to the flaws in their actions (which is an extremely difficult task for someone who is addicted to this behavior)  It's not like changing a personal behavior, something that is only involved in self, it's a global behavior that affects how they think and act around everyone in their world.

Eh... I'm exhausting  this idea.  Point is, no matter how they got to be mean people, I'll still never understand how they can stand living in a world where the only interactions are stabs, jabs and pokes at people who had nothing to do with creating who they've become.  

I'll try and find something more fun to talk about next time.  Just wanted to vent that one.

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