There are times in life when you find something that feels completely right, so the good and honest and descent thing to do, that all the hardships comming with that descision are just not an issue. You know that not doing it would make you feel regret for the rest of your life. The joy I would miss out on. Not that I haven't thought about all the hard stuff, but the good stuff surpasses it by far. If only all the major life changing descisions were this easy. I can't really blog about what it is I'm talking about yet. I don't want to jinx it. Soon though.
I look around now and realize, this is my house... I've bought a house. I have a real job, with benefits. I have a family. I get to be the sibling that's helping out. Seven years ago I was doing everything in my power to destroy my life, and now I have everything I thought I'd never have. (other then the husband, not to upset about that one.)
So what's next? I don't think school is something I want. Maybe later when it won't be taking away from my quality time with my son. I really don't like school. And I'm happy with where I am. My job is like my second home. There are some members of that work household that make things way harder then they should be.
"do you really have to sweep the floor with the kabota for three minutes!" and "Seriously just put that in the hopper!" But every thing can't be perfect. And honestly knowing that I can react normally with complete emotional compitency even about the stuff that would make a regular joe walk out the door makes me feel confident that I'm healthy.
I've thought about thanking Dr. Oriellana with a letter or a card or something, but I just never seem to get to it. It really helped those years back to have a doctor that actually let me have some power over what meds were being perscribed, and who actually listened and payed attention. So if anyone is looking for a good psychiatrist in the Grand Rapids area, I highly recommend him. Now I haven't been on meds in almost 4 years, but the step to getting better was paved by a doctor who cared when I said, "that med makes me feel horrible." Eh, I'm just dragging on trying to think of things to talk about. So, off I go. My life is great, and I'm happy to be here.
I look around now and realize, this is my house... I've bought a house. I have a real job, with benefits. I have a family. I get to be the sibling that's helping out. Seven years ago I was doing everything in my power to destroy my life, and now I have everything I thought I'd never have. (other then the husband, not to upset about that one.)
So what's next? I don't think school is something I want. Maybe later when it won't be taking away from my quality time with my son. I really don't like school. And I'm happy with where I am. My job is like my second home. There are some members of that work household that make things way harder then they should be.
"do you really have to sweep the floor with the kabota for three minutes!" and "Seriously just put that in the hopper!" But every thing can't be perfect. And honestly knowing that I can react normally with complete emotional compitency even about the stuff that would make a regular joe walk out the door makes me feel confident that I'm healthy.
I've thought about thanking Dr. Oriellana with a letter or a card or something, but I just never seem to get to it. It really helped those years back to have a doctor that actually let me have some power over what meds were being perscribed, and who actually listened and payed attention. So if anyone is looking for a good psychiatrist in the Grand Rapids area, I highly recommend him. Now I haven't been on meds in almost 4 years, but the step to getting better was paved by a doctor who cared when I said, "that med makes me feel horrible." Eh, I'm just dragging on trying to think of things to talk about. So, off I go. My life is great, and I'm happy to be here.
No comments:
Post a Comment