Ok, I realize fully that I am not near as exciting as some of the amazing people I've read, (wait in the van) and Peter Struessal (Hatred every day). But as much as I would like to make walking out to the mailbox interesting, I just can't.
When you've seen a real institutional lunatic walking around in a tin foil hat with his pants dangling at his ankles, it makes it hard to relate having a panicky moment retrieving the mail to being insane. But I guess ignorance is bliss, and makes for a much more interesting writing.
The other reason I'm terrible at this... I hate faking it. And like it or not as human beings it is instilled in us at birth to fake it. I believe there are individuals out there that are totally authentic, but they are so rare, and so singular that in a sea of those pretending to be authentic, it's impossible to tell who they are.
I try to be authentic, but a lifelong brainwashing by society has pretty much destroyed my chances, that and my low self esteem and lack of confidence. But ask me to throw something.... Now that I can do. It's probably just that stupid high school nostalgia, but given the time and practice I know I could throw with Olympians. Anything else though? I'm just faking it. At least when there are other people involved. Some day when I have no fear of some long lost paperwork held in the mental health system that can bring my life crashing down around me, maybe then I could try just being what I want to. Until then I have a family to take care of and that's more important than any self indulgent splurge in my own desires.
Ahh parenthood. Getting the chance to do it right the next time. Hope I do right by ya kid! There is nothing more important in this world to me then helping you be the happiest, greatest man on the planet! And there is nothing I would rather do, because I would be lifeless without you.
I love you more then the moon and the stars
more then the fresh spring grass,
more then the first winter snow
I love you more then the fall leaves crackling and crunching under my naked feet
I love you more then a hot cup of coffee after a cold day at work
I love you more then sleep.
Here's hoping I figure out how to keep my kid authentic, because I have no idea how to do it.
In the box, out of the box, just as long as it's what you want to do kiddo!
When you've seen a real institutional lunatic walking around in a tin foil hat with his pants dangling at his ankles, it makes it hard to relate having a panicky moment retrieving the mail to being insane. But I guess ignorance is bliss, and makes for a much more interesting writing.
The other reason I'm terrible at this... I hate faking it. And like it or not as human beings it is instilled in us at birth to fake it. I believe there are individuals out there that are totally authentic, but they are so rare, and so singular that in a sea of those pretending to be authentic, it's impossible to tell who they are.
I try to be authentic, but a lifelong brainwashing by society has pretty much destroyed my chances, that and my low self esteem and lack of confidence. But ask me to throw something.... Now that I can do. It's probably just that stupid high school nostalgia, but given the time and practice I know I could throw with Olympians. Anything else though? I'm just faking it. At least when there are other people involved. Some day when I have no fear of some long lost paperwork held in the mental health system that can bring my life crashing down around me, maybe then I could try just being what I want to. Until then I have a family to take care of and that's more important than any self indulgent splurge in my own desires.
Ahh parenthood. Getting the chance to do it right the next time. Hope I do right by ya kid! There is nothing more important in this world to me then helping you be the happiest, greatest man on the planet! And there is nothing I would rather do, because I would be lifeless without you.
I love you more then the moon and the stars
more then the fresh spring grass,
more then the first winter snow
I love you more then the fall leaves crackling and crunching under my naked feet
I love you more then a hot cup of coffee after a cold day at work
I love you more then sleep.
Here's hoping I figure out how to keep my kid authentic, because I have no idea how to do it.
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