Lonely--part 2

Apparently I lost the other part 2  so here it goes.

Nattalie grabbed the phone ready for yet another person to identify their self as one of her kind, but instead heard the barely English dialect of a telemarketer.  "We would like to offer you a..."
Nattalie hung up.
    After unpacking some more of her clothes in the upstairs master bedroom, and finishing off a jar of peanut butter, Nattalie checked the time and headed over to Aunt Bee's to see if there was a bed in her garage.  It would be nice to sleep in a bed again. 
    Before her feet touched the first crooked step of the large front porch,  Aunt Bee opened the front door, the same radiant smile sending waves of wrinkles out along her cheeks.   Nattalie felt warmer just being in her presence.   They walked into the living room and straight through to the kitchen.  The house had an almost identical layout, but was filled with glass, plastic and wooden carvings of panda bears.  There was bamboo wallpaper, a Panda adorned fireplace,  a Kamono decorated with the fluffly black and white bears framed above the dining table.   The stairs were on the opposite side of the front door, but for that and the Pandas, the house was identical on the inside. 
    Bee pointed at the large plate of no-bake chocolate cookies on the counter.  "Feel free to gobble those up, It must be expensive to fill that belly."   Nattalie couldn't possibly feel any more at home.
      The chocolate oats melted in her mouth.  Before she could take a drink of the black tea sitting next to the empty plate, Bee started laughing.  "It sure is nice having someone around to share my world with."
    Nattalie nodded gulping the hot tea.   "Even my parents never really knew."   Bee motioned for the chairs, like a therapist sitting a client down for a talk.    Sensing the discomfort in Nattalie upon this thought, Bee waggad an old bent finger at her.  "Now, don't you think of this like that, I have just as much to share.  I haven't had but one other person in my life that has ever even heard me whisper at my circumstance, and he died a very long time ago bearing my secret."
     Nattalie felt ashamed of herself.  How could she be so selfish, this woman must have been through some of the same hell, if not more so.   "Was he your husband Bee?"
     Bee nodded sadly and pointed to the panda frame holding his picture.   Bee could sense the next question.  "The panda's serve me in a couple of ways."   She pulled out a charm on a delicate golden chain that sat in the pocket of her dress.  "They remind me that being a singular creature is beautiful,  and most importantly...."   She motioned to the decorations all over the house.  "Who would think this crazy old panda lover was really a mind reader!"
   Nattalie realized what the old woman had done.... Lived all these years with her secret, in one place with one life.   How she wished she could find a way. 
   "You will dear."   Aunt Bee patted her hand.  "Now let me see how I can help."  She threaded her old fingers into Nattalies.  "Don't squeeze honey, you'll break me instantly." 
  Nattalie did her best to keep her hand stone and still.     She could almost feel a tickle running through the hairs on her knuckles, and then an itching up her wrist.    "It won't take long dear, hold your hand still."
  
  Nattalie felt the itch turn into a cold shutter running down her back.  She wondered if Bee knew how this felt to the people she read.    It wasn't unpleasant, but for Nattalie pain was a whole different set of functions that had to be stimulated in horrific ways in order to respond. 
   Bee let go and slipped her fingers out.  "You are one fine panda."    She frowned a bit, and put her hand on the table as if it needed to rest.   "The first time I tried to read someone, I almost killed that old farmer."  Bee pointed to her tea cup with her other hand,  "Could you get me some more?"
   Nattalie picked up the dainty china very carefully and carried it into the tea pot on the stove.  "Bee," she paused realizing she had picked up the burning hot teapot without a mitt.  "Aunt Bee, do you think you can see a way to help me?"
   Bee yawned sleepily.  "I need some time to think on it dear one, but I have a few good ideas."  Bee yawned again.  She mummbled, "it took so much out of me Barty..."    Before Nattalie could tie the tea bag onto the handle of the cup, Bee was asleep at the table.     
   As carefully as she could, Nattalie picked the frail body up and carried her over to the large black and white sofa.  Bee shivered slightly when she backed away.   The large green fleece on the chair covered the tiny body nicely and Nattalie let herself out the back door. 

      

time to write

I am going to work on my strong girl story, haven't really come up with a name yet.   So check it out, leave me comments, I love comments.   ( Lonely--part 1 ) Bad or good, at least it is a response.

amnesia

I edited the first two parts of Rollalong Hill, Just wanted to stick that in rate away, seeing as how most of my website hits were from that story for some reason.
Ok, so I asked a friend once, if he knew what it was like to look around , just for a split second, and have absolutely no idea where he was, who he was, or what anything was around him.... His answer made it sound like a ludicrous question.
 Am I so odd that this never happens to other people?   Even for a tiny second, do other people once in a while lose all connection to the world around them?
Sure it might be something serious, (my hypocondriact mind tells me), but then again I have this feeling it's normal for a lot of people.  I think maybe it's just not worth mentioning, or happens so briefly it doesn't occur to matter. 
Anyhooo.... 72 hours without a cigarette.... still battling with my head about it.  My mind says, "just have one, you don't get to decide how life's going to kill you anyways"  the the other part of me says, "it stinks, it's shortening your life, and your kid will always be happy you quit."     
   Up to bed.   Must get some sleep before the early bird starts yelling "Breakfast!  Breakfast mommy?"

sheww

Ok so rollalong hill part 2 wasn't nearly as bad as part 1.   I must not have tried to edit the first one.  Hopefully the other parts go this well because I have to go to bed!!!   Stupid time.... always putting restrictions on my ability to accomplish things.  Stupid sleep too.  If I could survive a day with less sleep I'd be happier. As it is the normal 7 hours isn't enough.

All well.  Really really time for bed.

poooo

I'm finally working on rollalong hill... Damn my grammar sucks.   But I suppose a lot of writers do stream of thought stuff, and then have to edit it a lot... otherwise why does it take years to finish a book? 
On the homefront, my paperwork finally came through and I have sole custody of my son. He starts school soon, and I know he'll grow mentally in leaps and bounds with the right stimulation.   Perhaps that's why teachers actually go to college to learn how to teach, I'm glad my kid's got a teacher with a masters.  Good luck! 
Na, my kids easy, as soon as he figure's out communication I better start saving up for Harvard... and if not Harvard, well any college because he is not getting stuck in a factory working himself to the bone for nothing. 

Anyhoo.... let me see if I can get this part 2 of rollalong edited.

famous blogs?

 I get it. I do.  Wait in the Van, is one of my favorite blogs.  how do these people become famous?  I guess I just don't know how to appeal to a mass amount of people.   So goes it for those of us who are odd.  I'm not talking emo, or goth odd which seems popular these days.  (If I would have had freedom as a kid I totally would have been a goth).  Anyhoo, drinking and blogging don't mix.   So to keep things safe, I'm going to throw random things out there and hope too much doesn't stick.

As for SSA, I've thought about sending partial payments in, but who's to say they don't seize my bank account and then I end up one of those forclosure people who lose everything because the government has my account.  A debt I may add that is less then my student loans, but has none of the legal restrictions that keeps it from ruining your life.

As for my short stories,  I never get the time to edit them and I've hashed the flaws over and over, and just can't seem to get time to fix rollalong hill.

As for graceful, I definately am more graceful with a few drinks in me.  I thought it might just be beer brain working, but I honestly put a pair of yoga pants on without almost falling.  That's graceful for me sober, so ya somehow alcohol makes putting pants on easier.  Is that some sort of brain disorder?

Speaking of brain disorders, I've been researching narcolepsy and sleep disorders on the internet, and it looks like I have classic and common signs of a sleep disorder which causes you to hit REM sleep way too fast and too easilly.   I'm wondering if it would be worth it to have it documented so that my tardys at work can be dismissed before I hit the write up limit.

Swear to goodness I wake up to the alarm and want to lay back down to finish out the dream so badly logic doesn't sit in until it's too late and I have to rush out of the house to make it to work. And I really do hit dream state as soon as I lay back down, so hitting snooze does make sense in that wierd half awake state.

Ok,  I'm running out of stuff..... I think I want to lay down and enjoy the nothingness beer brain that is encapsulating me at the moment.   It's nice not to have your brain wired and firing when you want to go to sleep.  

Got my kid a Phineas and Ferb backpack today.   He wanted to carry my purse around the store, and so buying him his backpack for school was an excellent way to divert him from the purse, and get school supplies too!

Being a single mom is hard.... Being a single mom who really is responsible for everything is harder.  Don't cry to me if you have an estranged spouse that takes your kid every other weekend.  Don't cry to me if you have grandparents that can take your kid for some days to visit, and certainly don't cry to me if you have an ex that actually trys to pay child support.  No matter how people will try to say, "oh but the mothers don't spend it on the kids",  they don't understand that every bit of money going into food, electricity, housing, daycare, cloths, medical affairs..... has to come from somewhere.   My kid isn't living like he's poor, cause mama doesn't need a brand new pair of jeans, she can get them from goodwill.  

Anyhoo!  this is why people shouldn't blog when they drink.  Always a bad idea.  Always.  Too bad I don't care at the moment.   WOOHOO!  Time to find out what that giant mushroom house has for rooms.  Me and Richard were in it the other morning when I was late for work, And I just wanted to find out how many rooms it had, and what the walls taste like....  Such is the dream world, and glad to be a part of it.  Here I go!  NIGH-night.   Sad thing is this is probably more interesting then my other blogs, but I really don't drink so it probably won't happen again soon.   Just saying, don't want to get the reader's hopes up.
Goodnight all!!!

bedtime

I don't have much time tonight, just wanted to share a few thoughts.

I was looking in these mail order catalogs today wondering if the people that buy stuff from them ... well if they know how lucky they are that they can pick stuff out of a book that they want and just buy it.

There is a co-worker that puts stars by the things she wants, and I always wonder if she buys the stuff.  Then I wonder what it's like to live with two incomes, and to be able to do stuff like that.   Not that I'm jealous per say, just I wonder if it fills the need?   When I look at catalogs, or even magazines, I think, sure if I ever pay off these debts, I might be able to do something cool like that... redecorate a whole room with indie style wallpaper and clashing bright colors.... Build my wall of drawers.... buy a car.... buy nice new cloths and not just the ones on a walmart sales rack.... but if I could, would it make things better?   Would having those things make me feel richer?  Or maybe just look richer....  I can't deny a debt free life would be awsome because I wouldn't have to worry about bills and could save money so my son wouldn't have to incur things like college loans or credit card debts to sustain himself in college, but since I'm not winning the lotto anytime soon and money has to go toward what it has to go toward.. you know food, shelter, heat, electricity car insurance, monkey treats for the monkey... monkey cloths for the monkey who won't stop growing,  vetrinary bills for my monkey...  I guess making what I have, outshine this materialistic world is the best lesson I could buy my son.

But still.... I just wonder what it feels like to need new pants, and to go to a really nice store and buy the perfect fit.   I wonder what it's like to need your car fixed and take it to a shop to get it fixed... I wonder what it is like to have extra money and not have to feel guilty about spending it on something fun rather then something necessary...I wonder what it's like for people that just fix thier kitchen, or put new floors in, what's it like to walk into a store, pick something you like and just buy it, no guilt, no trepedation, no fear that your doing something bad. I wonder what its like to have more.   Some day.  But for now, I'm good and if I didn't want more, I wouldn't work so hard to pay the debts.  

All well.  Time for bed.  Work work work...  at least I get to say I save the world for a living.