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Tuesday, January 22, 2019

Fartmoodles: chapter 9

How to Capture a Fartmoodle
Chapter 9:
"Even hydrogenDioxide can kill you"
First Edit
by: Nellie Tobey

In the kitchen of the bar, the woman threw down a very large warm tortilla.  She was placing meat in it, and yelling out the door.  "I'll get you another in a minute Frank, and don't call me that."   She smiled a little and started gently sprinkling something with the letters CUMEN on the meat.   Tooty held out her hand and got some powder to taste.
  Steve looked impatiently back out the door at BrewMinister standing by 'Frank's' drink tipping a drop of brew into Frank's short stout glass.  "Is it going to work?"  Steve couldn't sense flavor, and had no idea what the difference was between water, or the stuff humans liked to call 'hot sauce'.
  Tooty relished the new sensation from the brown powder.  "I can't imagine why not."   She then flew over at the cambro with the green peppers in it and took a taste. "Oh these.... These are...",  Tooty coughed, and her eyes watered, "perfection."   Steve flew over to minister to let them know it would work.
   A few moments later a yellow and fucia chameleon handed the small copper lined glass bottle to Tooty, she poured it onto the top most peppers vigorously.
BrewMinister gasped. "No no no, that's way too much!"
   Tooty smiled at the concerned Gremlin.  "If we aim to cause mischief, we need to do this right."
   Minister lashed out the lizard tongue and took a taste of the peppers.  "Oh, this is going to be interesting, I do say ..."  And BrewMinister stopped and said nothing more, but smiled oddly at Tooty.
  Steve had a pang of jealousy, and tried to control it. "You two just keep on talking, but I think our human is getting ready to leave!"
  The man in the suit jacket stood and was shaking someones hand.  The bartender was just carrying out the burrito covered in the enhanced jalapenos.  Steve, Tooty, and an agitated chameleon stood on the bar counter watching intently.  "Hey Morgan, you're not leaving before you get a taste of my cooking are you?"
  The suit pointed to his coworkers,  "They'll devour it, I promise.  Not a one of them turns down free food, and I gotta go home to the kids."
   The woman nodded and placed her other hand on his shoulder.  "You will let me know if you need any help.  You have your hands full, and anyone in this town would be happy to help."
  Morgan nodded. He laid his hand on hers in a grateful gesture.  "She was the one who would know what to do, and I know she'd want me to home with them Martha."  He paused for a second, took out his wallet and handed her another 50.  "Don't let any of them drive if you can stop them.  Ed and Gerry will walk, they are smart, but those other new ones just aren't smart enough."
  Martha took the 50 and smiled.  "I already got two sets of keys, you know I'll get John's with a wink and a nudge."
  Morgan laughed and bowed out the front door.
  Minister had turned into a ferret and was growling at the floor.  "We didn't get a chance!"  Tooty poked the ferret in the ribs.
  "We still got that burrito, let us see what the others know."  Steve gave a sharp head nod when minister looked at him.
  BrewMinister smiled at Tooty in that odd way again.  "And if we don't, we sure as flip have a time getting them humans into trouble!"

    *******************************

It was nearly morning and three empty bottles of goblin brew #99 were scattered by Steve's tent, as Tooty sipped from her mother's goblet.  Kettle, Red and Minister were giggling at the idea that Tooty had effectively talked Martha into inviting John out to pizza after the bar had closed.
  Kettle pointed at Tooty in a grievous way suddenly. "Who would of thought a well timed stink would make them laugh so hard. You dear are a Master."  Tooty did a curtsy and  raised the goblet.
  "To being invisible, and knowing that Frank can't hold one in!"
  The three gremlins cheered and then Kettle and Red's eyes drew down in a sudden sleep.  BrewMinister stood, seemingly unaffected by his two empty bottles, and walked up to admire the cup in Tooty's grasp.  "I do believe this is some of the best copper work ever produced in this village."
  Tooty dropped the cup and stared at Minister.  "My mother."  She fluttered her wings without even knowing it.  "It was my mom wasn't it!"  Minister smiled, picked up the goblet and handed it back.
  "T'wasn't me that said a thing."  And BrewMinister turned and walked away into the darkness as a great fluffy tailed squirrel.  The squirrel turned around before being swallowed by the dark.  "Her light was engulfing, but it was your father's glow that I always fancied."  Then the brown and silver tail danced away into the shadow.

***********************************

  Tooty was busy playing swords with the Owlets (they informed Tooty it was their new club name),  as once again the biggest one snapped it's pine needle trying to stab a dead leaf on the ground.  The smaller two jabbed and swung at Tooty as she blocked and danced around to give them a chance to swing at her.  "The brown needles will just keep breaking, they're not flexible any more."  She noticed Steve approaching with his notebook swinging from one hand and a determined look on his face.  "Ok Owlets, I gotta get back to work."
  There was a slight protest, and then they started digging through the pile of pine needles for greener weapons.
  Steve got close and couldn't contain himself, "I figured it out Tooty, I think I know how to get the information, but it's going to be dangerous."
  She took a look at the magazine page Steve handed her.  "The children? No Steve, I refuse.  The Gremlins will too."  The picture was of a girl playing with a doll that very much resembled a fairy, but was far to pale, big headed and lacked the claws or mandibles. It could be a Pixie if the appendages weren't so short and the wings so smooth.  A Pixie also didn't sparkle.  Maybe glow from time to time, but never sparkle.
  "Hear me out, we won't hurt them, or do anything that could put them in harms way."  Steve sighed a bit.  "Not any harm the human's aren't putting them in already that is."

***********************

   BrewMinister, OldRed, and KettleStruck immediately refused.  Steve was still trying to explain, "They are going to be in factory anyways, we just need to get a good look around without being sucked into some bit of machinery."  
   Tooty tried to help Steve explain, but was also not very fond of the idea. "It happens sometimes in our region, and most times the kids end up opening the jar at some point so we can get out."
   BrewMinister shook the restless porcupine quills occupying their backside.  "I promised your mother and father absolutely no harm would come to you, and I will not deliberately let you be in a jar for a human to carry around on some cold cement factory floor!"
   Steve started rifling through the pages of one of the books he had gotten from the goblin market. "These things where the humans take the small ones to work, it's not that dangerous."  Steve showed them the picture of a big man in bright yellow garb and a ridiculous plastic hat.  The man and two other big ones were guiding a group of small ones all with the same hats and yellow garb to match.  "See here,  they make them all wear this protection, and Tooty is smart, strong and fierce, she wouldn't be in danger in the hands of a child."
  Tooty was taken aback by the compliment, but then watched Kettle and Red do the hand gestures and Minister waving furry paws to say no.  Minister finally turned around and walked away.  "Damn humans!"
  Kettle and Red nodded and spoke, "We are sorry for the silent communication, but some things are still the Gremlin way no matter how much we want to include both of you."  Steve started to believe maybe his plan had hope.  Red pointed at the giant rat trap on the next page of Steve's book.  "The thing is, we could not help you, we could not be in that place to make sure you two come out safely. "
  Steve started to protest, but Kettle held up it's hand, slightly translucent in the sunlight.  "But we are also going to all die if we don't find out how to stop this."
  Tooty felt her determination harden inside.  "I will be fine, we go among the humans, in their human places all the time where we are from."  It was a tiny lie, she herself had just begun training to do just that.  "Steve is our top academic, and there is no one more equipped with the knowledge I'll need to survive in there."
  BrewMinister had returned, clad in a suit of fish scale armor, "If we leave our Shepard, we die, if we let this human poison continue, we die."  Red and Kettle tried interrupting Minister but that just made the Gremlin louder.  "The way I see it, we have to get in there and stop this, I'm the strongest one of our village, and I will not die before I try anything possible to stop this."
  Tooty pointed at the picture of the 'not' fairy and the child.  "First thing we have to do is find Morgan's kids and figure out how to get them to see me."
  Steve unrolled the blue flyer that was at the pizza joint Martha and John ended up in.  It read 'Bring your kids to work day'.
  Tooty put a firm hand on BrewMinisters slimy fishy shoulder. "Time to get yours truly caught in a jar."   


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